Brat and Brit

Simon writes:

We spent Saturday night in Bratislava, Slovakia. Frikkin expensive it was too! It was full of cretinous Brits on stag dos and it had two massive branches of Tesco - will we never be free?!!! We did meet a couple of interesting Canadians - Jared and Silent Roy. Jared was all chirpy and Silent Roy only really got into his stride (mainly talking about female motorbike accessories) when his mate sloped off for chats with Bratislava's famous fitties.

We took in the nightlife (see pic).

Not too shabby actually. As for the penguins, they reacted badly to not being taken out on the razz and created havoc back at the hostel. Whole place reeked of fish when we got back. On Sunday they went to church to atone for their not insignificant sins (see pic)

Speaking of sins, we're now in Vienna and we've already seen at least 3 quite outrageous mullets as well as a number of other more minor offences.

We're renting bikes and heading out to the wineries today. Should be cool...

Budapest

Simon writes:

We're soaking up Budapest (there's loads of places to soak in this city), the penguins are behaving themselves and all's well with the world! Been staying at the Buda home of dear Theo, Karoly's uncle (for which heartfelt thanks to you both). The money we saved was spent in part on Hungarian grey oxen steak, which in my humble opinion is unsurpassed. Heading to Bratislava by boat on the Danube and from there to Vienna (also by boat). Bit pricey but we're anticipating the ride to be just peachy. By the way, if anybody's familiar with Bratislavan nightlife we'd be grateful for some tips. A plan to go out on the razzmatazz has been forming...

Simon writes:

As Noelle said, we´re now in Salzburg (see cliched tourist photo). The penguins are doing fine by the way. They´ve been deliberately excluded from this picture because their heads are getting way too big - the attention-seeking, beligerent little tarts!

Gruß Gott mein lieblings!

Zurich/Salzburg

Noelle writes:

We are now in Salzburg. Arrived yesterday from Zurich where we spent the weekend with Juhani and Karolina. They introduced us to the `Shoreditch` area of Zurich, with cool bars and clubs, where we rocked up in our travelling gear. Thanks again for everything we had a great time!

Salzburg is quite a nice little town, though much smaller than I had anticipated. It`s so funny as well because there are loads of people just walking around in traditional Austrian frocks (we particularly like the leather shorts and knee high wooly socks). I will attempted to take some photos but have been too chicken thus far.

I`m also trying to convince Simon that we should rent some outfits and prance around town.

Fish pic

For those of you clammering for confirmation of our successful Loire fishing trip, the suspense is finally over!

Mountains of Switzerland

Noelle writes:

As Simon put it when we reached the top of the mountain: "Thank f***! I`m alive!!!"

Today we are recovering after a 6.5 hour hike/climb up a Swiss mountain. In fact one we have skiied in the past.

Before we arrived in Switzerland I said there were two things I wanted to do while we were there: hike a mountain and have lunch and a beer at the restaurant on top and swim in a lake.

Jeanne (Simon`s cousin) has the week off of work and said she`d take us up a mountain. It turns out her new boyfriend Gilles has been climbing mountains since he was young and would be our guide. Now my visions of hiking the Swiss mountain did not include needing a guide (I was expecting it to be a relaxed affair). Anyhow we went along with plan and picked up a helmet and harness on the way to the mountain (this should have been my clue to what lay ahead).

We had a little over two hours of hiking straight up the mountain side which killed my calves and pretty much all of the muscles in my legs. Had a lovely lunch and then began our 3.5 hour via ferrata across and up the rock face of the mountain. Let`s just say I felt like I was Tom Cruise in that first scene of Mission Impossible, hanging from the rock with only an inch worth of steel cable between me and my death 100 feet below.

I was terrfied to begin with but gradually began to enjoy it and actually stopped thinking about the fact that there was nothing but air behind or below me.

The views were magnificent and by the time we got to the top of the mountain we felt great both because of what we had just achieved but also because we finally had something solid under our feet. We had just enough time to take some photos before the cloud and fog came in and enveloped us.

Thank you to Jeanne and Gilles for introducing us to a new and exciting sport. We highy recommend it to everyone but make sure you use the facilities before you set out!

More photos to follow shortly...

Barge photo

Simon writes:

We're on the barge in the South of France and the penguins are clearly loving it! The journey down was uneventful except for a mad dash to make the connection in Paris (it seems London's underground is not the only rubbish transport system in the world) and me having to wait ages for a slash on our final train while a teenager finished his doobie in the toilet. Tut tut.

Going fishing for trout in the Loire this evening. My excitement knows no bounds...

Allow us to introduce...

Bags (almost) packed, penguin mascots (pictured) bought at great expense. Tomorrow is the big off! Rest assured, there'll be more exciting pictures of our two companions as we progress...

willie style

In preparation for the possibility of a lack of sanitary toilet seats on our travels, Noelle has just test-run a prosthetic penis (ladies, if you're interested they're no doubt available at all reputable prosthetic penis shops). It's basically a funnel. The process looks a bit weird from behind...